


Leorio's Oreos

by Ceileice



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Doritos - Freeform, Gon turns over a new leaf, KURITOS, LARPing, LEOREO - Freeform, Leorio loves oreos, M/M, Oreos, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-18
Updated: 2015-08-18
Packaged: 2018-04-15 08:29:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,736
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4599873
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ceileice/pseuds/Ceileice
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Leorio's favorite cookie</p>
            </blockquote>





	Leorio's Oreos

Leorio liked oreos.

Like, he really liked oreos.

No, he loved oreos.

He loved them so much that he was considering changing his name to Leoreo (get it, LeOREO haha).

Thank god his name was only one letter off amirite??

So Leorio has a big bowl of oreos and there were many different oreo flavors in the bowl including black oreos and white oreos.

And mint oreos and RED FUCKING VELVET.

Leorio was a oreo collector (read: hoarder) and he liked collecting (hoarding) all the rare and limited time flavors. He'd even eat them past their expired dates, or at least keep them on display for all to see.

Gon once stole a pack because Killua had forced him to.

anyway fuck Leorio and his oreo fetish k, get to the REAL shizit (the plot).

Kurapika fucking hated oreos. he was a dorito man himself.

He was very jealous of the oreos because of them and their bond with Leorio i mean COME the FUCK ON his name is Leorio. LEOREO HELLO!!!

Meanwhile Kurapika and his love for doritos, it just wasn't the same...

His name was Kurapika.

If anything, it went well with PIKACHU and Kurapika FUCKING HATED PIKACHU.

"i hate oreos." Kurapika said as he emo-ly stuck his hand into a bag of doritos and stuffed his face with them. This was how he battled depression.

emotional eater fuck.

Then he decided to come up with a little plan on how to separate Leorio from his beloved oreos.

He put on his thinking cap and snickered "heehehehehe"

Meanwhile Gon and Killua were LARPing, because they're fucking nerds.

Gon was good while Killua was bad, so they were fighting with cardboard swords. Kurapika had made them for them, but they were originally graham crackers so they ate them. Kurapika had to make new ones, which were the cardboards swords of course.

"Fucking kids." Kurapika had said to them back then.

Then Gon suddenly said, "Oh, this is so fucking typical I'm the good innocent sweet goody-goody boy while you're the bad bitch. Well you know what motherfucker? That's all gonna change today. I already started smoking weed thanks to Kurapika's hidden stash in the basement and now I'm turning over a new leaf motherfucker. That's right motherfucker."

Killua was confused, "Gon, what the fuck. We're fucking LARPing you fucker. Act in character fucking fucker."

Gon said, "Man, fuck the fucking fuckers."

That hurt Killua. A little.

Then Leorio showed up with his giant bowl of oreos and he sat down on a bench (because they're outside ofcourse) and he started furiously munching on oreos as Gon and Killua bickered.

"I fucking love oreos." he said.

Gon and Killua didn't fucking care, though.

Fuckers.

So then Gon and Killua's fight became more intense. Gon bitch slapped Killua with his cardboard sword and Killua forgot to use his cardboard shield. Oh no.

Killua pretended to fall over, dead.

Gon poured hot sauce on him to signify blood.

"Wow. This is shit." Leorio said, "This fucking sucks I want my money back."

He threw oreos at the two.

Some oreos fell in hot sauce.

Gon stupidly ate those and burned his ass off.

Then Kurapika showed up. 

"Hi everyone!!" he said gaily (GAY MEANS HAPPY YOU GODDAMN DUMBLEDORE).

Killua was playing dead, so he couldn't fucking talk.

Gon burned his ass off .... and his tongue, so he couldn't talk.

Leorio was too busy stuffing his face with oreos, which were more important than Kurapika.

"wow fuck all of you." Kurapika said.

Killua decided to be the one to say hi. So he said "Hi."

Kurapika was happy. Senpai finally noticed him.

"Oh gross you're kohai, sorry." Kurapika said.

Killua said, "Well fuck you I like Gon better than you anyway."

Gon was happy.

Leoreo was too fucking busy eating oreos. YUM.

So Kurapika decided to finally put his plan into action.

What was his plan?

Kurapika walked over to the bench and smacked the bowl of oreos out of Leorio's hands. The bowl fell over and all of the delicious oreos spread all over the ground.

Leorio got up and ate the oreos off the ground.

yeah that was his plan all along. ....

"Leorio this needs to stop. You need to fucking stop." Kurapika said angrily.

"I didn't do nothing" Leorio said as he brushed off dirt from a dirty oreo.

Kurapika sighed, "Yes, you did. Do you see this? You're obsessed with oreos. It needs to stop."

"But you killed me over a bag of doritos once." Leorio added in defense.

Fuck. Fuck.

Ah fuck.

That hit Kurapika HARD.

"GOD DAMN IT YOU SAID YOU WOULDN'T BRING THAT UP AGAIN!!!" Kurapika yelled.

Leorio screamed, "YOU MADE ME!!!"

Then Kurapika ran over to him and stomped on all the oreos he tried to pick up.

"I HATE OREOS!" he screamed.

Then Leorio said, "Oh does that mean you hate me, because I'm an oreo."

Killua gasped! "Leorio, you're BLACK and WHITE?"

"WHAT THE FUCK KILLUA!" Leorio screamed.

Then Gon said, "motherfucker you can only be BLACK or WHITE. There is no in between."

Leorio punched Gon. "MY NAME IS NOW LEOREO YOU MOTHERFUCKERS. I BECAME ONE WITH OREO."

Kurapika gasped. "NO Leorio....! You cheater!"

Then Killua said, "Dude, you just beat a child. you know I can report you for that?"

Nobody fucking cared.

"Listen, Kurapika. You weren't there when I needed you. These oreos... They've always been with me..." Leorio said, he was an emotional man, "SO I LOVE THEM!"

Kurapika began to cry. He was being replaced with some fucking cookies.

Gon stood up and said. "Motherfucker."

"OREOS!" Leorio screamed.

Then Hisoka showed up. He was wearing a shirt that said, "I PREFER UKE KILLUA, BITCHES" but you see he spelled UKE wrong, as UKI and UKI is a noise of excitement in Japanese, so it basically said, "I PREFER (excited sound) KILLUA, BITCHES!"

Killua facepalmed.

Hisoka said, "OH MY GOD DOMINANT GON SO FUCKING HOT AAAAAAAASDFHDFSGHFGSFDDR" 

Hisoka was keymashing.

He was also very Turned On.

Gon blew oreo dust at Hisoka and Hisoka fell over.

Meanwhile Kurapika was still crying, because deep down inside he was a little bitch.

Leorio did not feel bad for him. Kurapika stomped on his precious oreos. His mint chocolate oreos.

Leorio cried for his lost oreos.

Killua was sad that Hisoka was a disgusting fuck who wanted Gon to top Killua what the fuck.

So Chrollo showed up and said, "Hey, you're all a bunch of God-damn sinners. I'm allowed to use 'God'-damn though because I accepted God into my heart. Now come to my church and do the same so you will be saved from your sins."

Everyone looked up at Chrollo.

Hisoka squealed, "OH MY GOD CHURCH AU WITH RELIGIOUS PRIEST CHROLLO IS SO FUCKING HOT!!!"

Gon and Killua stomped on him.

Hisoka coughed up sparkles.

"Ah, you're right. I'm tired of being gay, let's all accept Jesus into our hearts instead. I'm gay for Jesus." Illumi said.

"WHAT THE FUCK ANIKI!!" Killua screamed, but it was too late. illumi picked him up and they were going to church.

Gon followed.

Hisoka followed Gon because there was oreo cream on his shorts, and also because deep down inside he knew he was a fucking sinner.

Then Leorio said, "I DONT NEED NO FUCKING GOD ALL I NEED IS OREOS."

Kurapika agreed, except he hated oreos.

So Chrollo said, "You two need Jesus the most. NOW BRING YALL ASSES HERE."

Kurapika was sad, but he deicded to go to church too because he agreed that Leorio needed Jesus.

Leorio went too because he wanted to steal a bowl from there. A new bowl for his oreos.

...

"god god god god god god god god god," Feitan preached, "god god god god something about god idk god god."

"Feitan you dumb fuck." Machi screamed.

Leorio couldn't believe he was sitting through this shit.

Where was the food? potluck dinners? More importantly, THE BOWLS!!!

He was so mad, he kicked an old man sitting in front of him.

The old man fell over and died.

Chrollo screamed. "WAIT THE FUCK UP YOU GODDAMN FUCKER YOU KILLED AN OLD MAN. THAT MAN IS NOW GOING TO HEAVEN AND YOU'rE GOING TO HELL AND-"

Then Killua cut in by singing his favorite song, "Can't touch this! Doo, doo, doo, doo - Doo, doo, doo CAN'T TOUCH THIS."

Gon joined in.

Everybody thought they were so cute, so they joined in as well because why the fuck not?

Then Chrollo screamed more, "WHAT THE LOVING FUCK IS GOING ON. THIS IS NOT A FUCKING CONCERT THIS IS CHURCH!"

But an old lady accidentally hit Chrollo with her Big Butt, and Chrollo fell over.

He cried.

Meanwhile Leorio was trying to sneak over to the snack table. It had toast with nutella on it.

"Nutella tastes like shit." Kurapika conveniently said, because he was at the snack table for some reason.

Leorio gasped! "Oh my god Kurapika you are so right. It does."

Kurapika gasped as well! "Y-You really think so...?"

Leorio nodded.

Kurapika cried happy gay tears of joy, "Wow, I'm glad we agree on something for once!"

"I know right????" Leorio asked but it was a rhetorical question.

So they joined forces and threw toast with nutella at people.

a piece of toast hit Feitan.

He blew up because he was allergic to hazelnuts.

Leorio and Kurapika laughed.

Then Kurapika asked, "Leorio, is it really true that you fucked the oreos?"

Leorio answered, "Nah, only a sick fuck like you would do that."

"haha true"

and so they stopped fighting over dumb bullshit like oreos and became gaybutts again and joined Gon and Killua in whatever the fuck they were doing.

Killua was still singing, "dooo dooo doo doo can't touch this MOTHERFUCKER!"

Hisoka was recording it on his Pedo Cam ver. 5.3 because he's fucking sick.

Gon snuck up on him and pulled down his clown pants.

Everyone stopped dancing and gasped!

Hisoka SCREAMED because everyone saw his clown boxers.

He ran away crying.

Then everyone resumed their dancing.

"hahah he deserved it." Illumi said.

"WHAT THE FUCK ANIKI!!!" KIllua screamed.

"eh fuck you you too Kil." Illumi said before he started rapping about Jesus.

and so everything went well.

And life was good.

...

The Mother-Fucking END!

P.S. Gon became a thug after that day and he robbed a bank.

**Author's Note:**

> i thought this was supposed to be about oreos


End file.
